My immediate family include my wife Lisa, Pellucidar (Pell) and Jules (our cats), and our newest additions Tanner and Katie (our puppies).  

Pell and Jules came from the same litter in 1993 and have been inseparable.  They are American Tabby Shorthairs.  They have seen us through half a dozen moves and through two states and have ruled the bed as theirs occasionally allowing us to sleep in it and it's a king.  Pell is a pleasure lush.  Rub his tummy and you have made a friend for life.  Jules is more discerning.  He will study you first and then as cats often do, deal with you on his terms, not yours.

Lisa got Tanner (I refused to make a decision whether or not to get a dog because I didn't want to be blamed either way later in life) and when the first good rain came and he couldn't get outside to see anyone and became depressed, we decided to get Katie two weeks later.  They cannot be apart unless you want whining and barking.  Tanner is a mix Border Collie/Rough Collie.  He is extremely active and has yet to met anyone or anything he doesn't like.  Prepared to be licked.  Katie is a mix Australian Shepherd/Shetland.  She is extremely shy and frightened of her shadow.  She barks at anything larger than her, even bushes and stationary bicycles with no one around.  And heaven forbid a gust of wind attacks.

I hope soon to add some human babies to the list.  Girls only, no boys need apply.

My family life before I met my wife was never a good one.  At best it was trying.  Once I met her, I found my life.  Corny?  Yes, it is.  But, it is something I must stand by until she tells me my opinion is otherwise.  No, really, it is a give and take relationship, she gives all the orders and takes all the rewards.  

Lisa is wonderful.  Her family is as much so.  I think I love her for her family as much as I love her for herself.  I have not been one that observes birthdays or holidays because I have had no reason to do so.  Her family while respecting my wishes, ebb away little by little by including me in their celebrations (because they love any reason to be generous and to give presents), while respecting my wishes.  A contradiction you say?  A paradox?  Well, welcome to my life.  A paradoxical enigma of puzzling oxymoronishness.

Perhaps because my family life was so incredible wonderful, I have always wanted children.  I have not yet been blessed with them (and there are some good reasons why), but I keep hoping that one day my dreams will be fulfilled.  It would complete one aspect of my life and give me an actual reason for my existence.  One day I would like to jump off that bridge with George Bailey and see what the world would be like without me.  I have touched a lot of people as I have passed.  We all have.  I by no means think my life has been phenomenal or noteworthy, but if I improved a single life from what it would have been?  Then my life would have meaning.  Children would give me that opportunity more than any other possibility.

Family does not have anything to do with blood relations.  My relatives have long been lost to me.  My father and I may speak once every six months, maybe.  My step-father who has been more understanding and nearly a saint as far as I am concerned, he and I speak maybe every three months.  My mother and I never had a good relationship while she lived and while I can say I am grateful that she has found peace she never had in life, I cannot say that things have turned poorly since her passing.  I think much of that has to do with me and not her.  I lost my relatives when I was very young, and life never recovered until I found myself.

But I have friends that have stood by me in some very strange and interesting situations.  These are my family.  Even then, my contact is intermittent and not as often as it should be.  This is my fault.  I never learned as a child, living here, living there, never truly be anywhere for very long until I reached ten, you lose connections and get a stigma for being the new kid and an outcast.  Still, the friends I made at ten and in the following five years have been the ones that have stayed.  There are a couple I feel confident would take that bullet for me and if I could I would stand in front of that truck to save them.  That is family.

That is what I will give my children.  That is what I give my wife.  That is what I give those I choose to call family.

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This page was last updated on 06/20/05.